We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
