Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dicks are not precious.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
