Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
