My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
