Don't you send me to vm
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
