census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
