I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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