omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
