cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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