Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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