as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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