Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
