I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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