He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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