piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
