UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
