Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
