Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
