I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
