Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
