God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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