This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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