I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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