We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My dick has a subreddit
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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