you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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