I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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