the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
