Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
