That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
