youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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