No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
