There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
