all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
