i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
