She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
