Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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