If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
