Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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