Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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