The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
