Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
