My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I need to calm my uterus...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
