it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
