Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
