You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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