I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
