This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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