omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
