question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How drunk are you?
Completed.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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