While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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