The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i believe in u and ur pee
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