Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
